


white light

by raleighocean



Series: An Original Horror Story [1]
Category: American Horror Story
Genre: 2019, F/F, Fixed Timeline, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-19 07:05:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18132503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raleighocean/pseuds/raleighocean
Summary: set in the new timeline; Billie still is contacted by Iris and the Devil's Night still scare the shit out of her. However, when she comes home, she realize what's really important to her even more than a bunch of ghosts.





	white light

**Author's Note:**

> this is a very specific setting, mostly because of the other (original) character. Dara Lynch is also a medium of some sort, and she's been Billie's lover for the last nine years or so (they started dating when Dara was 25 and Billie 35 (circa 2010, before Murder House), now 34 & 44). I'll write more about her during this fic and in some others so you can get to know her! ✨ 
> 
> I posted this on my tumblr too, but I wanted to keep track of my character/original character stuff in a more clean way!

Billie felt her heart beating loudly in her throat, still with the nausea settled in her stomach and the uneasiness from the situation back at the hotel. It was like a never-ending pain in the back of her head and her eyes, maybe she strained herself past the line she drew for herself years ago.

Not even a cigarette could help her body feel at ease this time.

Maybe it was her conception of time or the absinthe messing with her brain, but it was taking too long to reach the apartment. Billie tried to focus in little things at first - like her fake nails, like the sound of her pearls with each bump of the road - and then she tried to hold her tears, a warm sensation pushing softly, to not spill them foolishly. 

How long she didn’t let herself cry  _for real_? Not even when she broke her forearm a few years ago; not even when she had to stand in front of all those people at her mother’s funeral, judging her choices as if they knew her.

When her manager pulled over, Billie didn’t even bother in putting her heels on. She ran - and maybe waved goodbye, she doesn’t know - towards the front door as if someone was still chasing her. Her dress made her feel hot, her sweat making it stick to her back and her arms.

It took her  _four_ tries to open the door, each time making her more anxious and desperate to get inside. Once she was in, her anxiety skyrocketed so hard that she had to support herself in the countertop dividing the kitchen and the living room. At times other times, she used to ask herself how she felt comfortable in a tiny apartment instead of in a big house but in this specific situation she remembers.

Remembers how everything around her is at reach easily; how she could see what’s happening in almost every room from the living room, no surprises unless she was the one giving them; how being  _herself_ the one doing her chores anchored her vivid mind and powers to the ground.

As soon as she felt like being capable of moving again, she moved forward to the tiny master room. The bed took a good chunk of the room, not a single mirror there, clothes discarded in the floor from the day, the tiny ensuite bathroom’s door ajar...

...and the woman in the bed, sprawled like a big cat, stirring awake and reaching for the nightlight and filling the whole room with this orangish light, trying to get to her and make the cold go away.

“Bills?” her voice was tinted always with tenderness when she was speaking to her. Billie felt her face do this little pout, in the verge of tears again. “Sweetheart, why- Oh sweet God, you are drenched in sweat,” Billie didn’t let her finish that first sentence, throwing herself in the arms of her  _lover,_ clinging to her as if her life depended on it.“Hey, I’m here sugar...”

Billie felt bad, she always did when the breakdowns came, because she was too used to carry all burdens. She felt bad for putting her whole ‘bag of utilities’ in her lover’s arms, to let go everything without notice her first...but the younger woman always picked it up like it weighed not less than a feather. The medium let herself cry then, when she had her arms around her, cuddling in that strange sitting position with Billie’s head in her chest, her whole body cuddled against her body and the other woman’s back resting uncomfortably against the iron-bar headboard.

One thing that amazed Billie the most was that Dara Ann Lynch - the woman that was holding her tight, that was rocking her lightly and kissing the top of her head -, was still with her after almost  _ten years_ of the most bizarre shit she would ever imagine happen to her. Billie gave her a handful of motives to just walk away, forget about her, build her own life; but Dara was always there, smile in her face and what she needed to hear at the right moment. 

“Let’s get you out of this dress and get in the shower, okay?” still crying, she only nodded and let Dara to help her stand up. Her hands were warm against her skin, soothing the pulshing energy that was trying to get out of her body all at once. “I’ll make some tea while you are at it, and this time I promise I’ll let you put all the liquor you want.”

They were entering the bathroom when Dara said that, making her feel this raw sensation coming from her stomach, more like the crippling fear of being alone.

“Don’t leave, please,” Billie tighten the grip in her hand and there was something in her voice, sheer panic, that made Dara destroy in her head the idea of leaving her side. 

“Okay,” Dara smiled and then helped her...girlfriend? partner? to undress fast, getting her under the hot water and letting her to adjust. “Do you want me to wash your hair?”

That was the cue. Dara always had this kind of  _domesticity_ to handle things as to ‘ _hey, sweetheart, I’m making your favourite dish tonight!’_ when she was having a really rough day, even when she still didn’t know about it; as to ‘ _do you want me to wash your hair?’_ when Dara knew Billie was in the edge of her anxiety, because it soothe her to have her hair washed; as to ‘ _come here you starlight, I’m doing your nails today’_ when she was so tired from filming and Billie didn’t want to talk, leading Dara the conversation all the time.

Thinking about all the  _normal_ things made her realize that she wasn’t in a situation where she was in danger, but it wasn’t until she saw Dara letting fall her nightgown and her panties to the bathroom floor, stepping in the shower behind her, that she actually felt the bits of  _white light_ coming back to her.

All the ride from the hotel to that moment, she really thought the white light left her forever. There were times that, yes, she didn’t consider that was a thing that was real at the very beginning; but it for sure was now.

However, feeling Dara’s hands in her hair and her humming while she was at it felt like an energy charger. 

Dara was herself a kind of medium, but she wasn’t one that wanted to brag about her  _gift_  often. Tarot was the thing she did the most, having late night shifts from a very young age and even now - even if now she had the opportunity to choose when -, but Billie knew she had actually more power than she credit it. There was something about her aura that gave her this tickle inside, as if Dara was something  _more_ she wasn’t even close to discover.

“Never thought having three in the morning shower would feel this good,” Dara’s voice brought her back, now they two completely soaked and clean just because Billie seemed to have spaced out and then her partner also helped her wash her body. “How are you up there sugar?”

Billie turned around in Dara’s arms to hug her properly, water still running over them from the shower. The white light was surrounding them now, Billie’s worries resting somewhere while the only thing she was starting to care about was Dara’s hands caressing the small of her back and upper.

They had this thing between them going for  _so long_ and they never addressed it, why?

“I want a break,” were the only words that came from the medium’s mouth. “I need a break from all this.”

“Actually, that’s going to propose to you over nice breakfast,” Dara chuckled at that, lifting always the heavy weight in Billie’s chest. “Constance called me this morning, asking if we were going to visit soon because Nora was getting whi-”

“No,” it even shocked herself when the word came out a bit too harsh. “No ghosts, no Constance, no cameras; only us, the beach and some martinis,” Billie chuckled and let the last drop of panic go like that. “We deserve this. We need time, some healing time.”

“Nora is going to be so fucking pissed off,” Dara laughed at that and she turned off the water, reaching for a towel to wrap both of them with it. “I can hear her already, sweet God.”

And when Dara made a really good impersonation of their dearest ghost, Billie felt like she got a shot of white light right in her lungs and even her heart. The cobwebs the hotel left her went away just like that, the cold those spirits left her with actually going away just with her lover’s laugh.

“We’ll visit her for as long as she wants once we are back,” Billie wasn’t one to be clingy, but she let herself for that night and search for Dara’s embrace after they were on their pajamas. Dara never joked or laughed at that hidden part of her, receiving whatever she had to offer. “But I want to spend time just with you.”

“Wow that’s really sweet, Bills,” Dara looked moved,  _younger_  even, and Billie felt a soft pang of guilty in her heart because even when her lover was happy and overall okay, she wasn’t able to see that raw emotion in her that often. “Last time we went on vacation was...after Constance asked you to help the Harmon girl, I think?”

 _A very long time, how did you manage to put up with me for this long?_  

Billie hummed in agreement, making herself comfortable in Dara’s arms while the younger woman led them to bed. When they were settled, the ‘magic’ was still surrounding them in this protective way that she learned to appreciate as years passed by. Maybe when they were alone and far away from everything she could ask Dara about this kind of stuff, Billie said to herself; maybe getting her to talk more about that part of their lives they also shared.

“Are you going to tell me what happened to you there?” Dara’s fingers made their way up and down her arm, trying to still calm her down even when Billie was feeling much better. 

She closed her eyes, leaning towards the woman to keep being cuddled and kissed and held. Of course she was going to tell her, but not now. She now had a very clear goal in her mind and thinking about the Hotel Cortez wasn’t in the road to it.

“I will, but not now,” Dara smiled at the words knowingly, being used to that kind of response. She was patient overall, so it didn’t matter to her when she was getting the answer to her question. “Can you keep the white light coming however? I think I need some refillment, honey.”

“Sure miss Howard, I have an unlimited subscription to it,” Billie kissed Dara’s cheeks, nuzzling against her after that and being kissed in the forehead fondly by her. “I love you Bills, I really do.”

She didn’t answered right away, knowing that Dara would doze off in a matter of seconds - she had that gift too, light sleeper but quick dozing off. When that happened, she let herself focus in her heart beating steadily to try and get some rest too. Billie thought that maybe when they were on vacation, she would be able to give Dara something back too like all those ‘I love you’ that she was so afraid of give back. 

Actually have a talk about them sounded like the right thing after that night.

Nonetheless Billie let herself be cocooned in Dara’s warm arms, the true  _white light_ protecting her from what had happened, and soon the tiredness from all took her away too.

The only thought left in her head was that as long she had something to come back and call  _home_ , that would be her true meaning for the  _white light._


End file.
